The incident was small, something I could easily just brush off. But, and this was a huge but for me, there was an insensitivity, arrogance and lack of loyalty that surrounded the incident that I found very troubling.
The incident caused me to think deeply about who I am, the importance of, and rules for, my relationships.
What is it that is required for me (or you) to stay in a relationship?
I thought about all I would be giving up if I were to quit this volunteer position.
I would lose that special time I had spent with my daughter for the past 10 years, she was my "right hand man" and we spent many hours together planning. preparing and working, that, at least in this capacitity, would be gone forever.
My wife would no longer be able to do her part, which had been growing every year and had become a source pride and accomplishment for her.
And our closest family friends who traveled each year from Southern California to volunteer with us at this community event would no longer have that as a reason to visit.
If I were to decide to quite it would impact many people and many things. I would also be walking away from the warm feeling of community contribution and gratitude that I received each year from the community and my team of volunteers.
Do I walk away from all of this just because I experienced some insensitivity, arrogance and a lack of loyalty from the leader of the organization?
For me, the answer was yes.
Here's why I'm sharing this episode of my life with you.
Sometimes it can seem difficult to make a change, especially a change that also impacts others. It can seem easier to "just let it slide", to "say ahh, it's no big deal". Here's what the big deal is, you give away a part of yourself.
I believe I owe it to myself to NOT stay in a relationship, of any kind, in which the other person is insensitive, arrogant and lacks loyalty. Wouldn't you agree?
For me this was not about the person, the fact is, I was never mad, a bit hurt and disappointed, but never angry. This is about MY RULES FOR RELATIONSHIPS, not the other person. I owe it to myself to have rules, rules that allow me to maximize my happiness and well being. Rules that allow me to feel good about who I am and what I do.I also owe it to myself to follow my own rules. True?
Don't let the standards you set for yourelf be chipped away at. Know who you are and live true to your highest and best vision of yourself in all of the things that you do, and in all of the relations you are in.